Joan Walden is a major character in the 2003 Dr. Seuss live-action film The Cat in the Hat. In the film, Joan Walden was portrayed by the late actress Kelly Preston. She's the single mother of two children and was in a relationship with her greedy, lazy, two-faced self-indulgent neighbor Larry Quinn until she found out what he was really like. She's also The Cat in the Hat's love interest after he sees her picture in her house.
Biography
Joan is the single mother of Conrad and Sally (it's unknown if she's divorced or widowed). She's first seen working at the Humberfloob company as she's announced as the host of the office party. Joan has to leave work early when her babysitter has to quit unexpectedly. Joan's neat-freak boss, Hank Humberfloob, warns her that if her house isn’t up to his standards, she’ll be fired. Joan comes home to Conrad pulling another dangerous stunt that lets Nevins out, much to her exasperation. Larry Quinn, Joan's boyfriend and next-door neighbor, comes in to return Nevins, much to Joan and Sally's delight. Larry offers a suggestion of sending Conrad to military school to discipline him, though Joan is unsure if it's the right solution. After Larry leaves to prepare for a sales conference, Joan becomes increasingly stressed while preparing for her party and taking care of her family.
Joan is then called back to the office by Mr. Humberfloob, so she calls Mrs. Kwan to babysit Conrad and Sally. Leaving, she tells Conrad and Sally to stay out of the living room because the party is going to be there. She and Conrad have an argument about her considering Larry's suggestion of sending him to military school which ends with Conrad wishing he had a different mother. Though appearing nonchalant to this response, she's deeply hurt but has no time to process as she hurries back to the office. She sees Larry heading to the sales conference he mentioned and wishes him luck, unaware that he actually never had one as he goes back into his home once she disappears out of sight.
Later, Joan receives a call from Larry, who informs her that Nevins escaped again and suggests afterwards they should discuss sending Conrad to military school. Joan is still unsure of enrolling Conrad despite his behavior, but ultimately decides to consider. When Larry only gives a curt response and promptly hangs up, Joan starts having reservations on her decision, suspecting her boyfriend may not have her and Conrad's best interests in mind. To ease her suspicions, Joan calls Mrs. Kwan to check on Conrad and Sally. Joan is elated when her babysitter assures her of her children's behavior, planning to return home soon.
After Larry is tricked by the Cat in the Hat into handing over Nevins to the kids and loses sight of them, he informs informs Joan of her kids' activities, ushering her to head home. Constantly hurried by Larry, Joan is pulled over by Thing 1 and Thing 2 disguised as police officers, who swallow her registration and start performing the Heimlich maneuver on each other. Larry loses patience and hijacks the Things' motorcycle, telling her to meet him at the house.
Larry ends up falling into a purple river when the Cat scares him, exposing the Mother of All Messes. While the kids and the Cat search for the crate, Joan is still held up by the Things, evidently losing patience with their antics. After Conrad locks the crate, the house becomes completely trashed and the kids tell the Cat to leave. Prepared to face their mother's wrath together, Conrad and Sally are delighted to see the Cat return and successfully clean up and restores the house to it’s original state with a cleaning machine whilst Joan, having got past the false policemen nears the house.
The Cat leaves just as Joan arrives home to a freshly-cleaned house and is warmly greeted by Conrad, Sally and Mrs. Kwan. Delighted to hear from Mrs. Kwan that her children were well-behaved. Joan is startled when Larry greets her from behind covered in purple slime as he explains that Conrad and Sally destroyed the house, along with other strange things that happened. However, Joan, seeing the house and everything normal, doesn't believe him. She finally decides that although her son is naughty, she believes in him. Firm in her decision, Joan politely asks Larry to leave, tearing up and returning the pamphlet he gave her earlier. Joan rejects Larry's marriage proposal when he disgusts her by sneezing into his hands and finally kicks him out of her house.
After her successful party and getting a good acclaim from Mr. Humberfloob as well as reconciling with her son, Joan has fun jumping on the couch with Conrad and Sally.
Romances
Larry Quinn
Initially, Joan was smitten by Larry for his good looks, success and charms. Joan often took her boyfriend's side over Conrad's, insisting her son be respectful and refer him by his real name "Lawrence". However, unbeknownst to her, Larry was only dating her so he could marry her, get out of debt, and further mooch off her. He would be manipulative, constantly trying to entice with sending her disobedient son to military school. Because of this, Joan's faith in Conrad would diminish even further when she left to return to work.
Over time, Joan's view of Larry would change. When she finally agreed to his solution for Conrad, Joan is skeptical of Larry when he shows no sympathy to feelings of sending Conrad away. Joan would further doubt Larry when he constantly hurried her to get home to get her children in trouble, which was exacerbated when he takes the policemen's (actually the Things in disguise) motorcycle. Returning home, Joan is bewildered to see her boyfriend covered in sticky, purple goo. Seeing that her home and family are exactly as she left it in contrast to what he has been telling her, Joan ultimately chooses to trust Conrad. Having lost all faith in her manipulative boyfriend for trying to turn her against her children, Joan rips up his brochure and plasters it on him, signifying her breaking up with him. Visibly annoyed with his immaturity and repulsed when he catches a sneeze in his hands, Joan locks him out of her house without a word.
The Cat in the Hat
Joan was unaware of the Cat the whole film (though it could be possible her children had told her about him when she asked what they had been up to). The Cat, on his part, has a one-sided attraction to her when he came upon a portrait with a folded, full body picture of her (later revealed to be her in a bikini) and kept it.
Trivia
- Joan likely thought Larry was stalking her children and making things up to get them in trouble, evidenced by how she steps between him and Conrad with a neutral expression.
- In the deleted scenes:
- Joan, in a different scenario, never went back to the office (stressed over work and family matters given what she told the Fish), sitting on a porch and playing Conrad's confiscated video game. When the Fish tries to inform her of what's going on, she mistakes him for pervert and hangs up to continue playing.
- The Cat was shown admiring the photo of her from earlier, with showing her in lingerie. This reveals that Joan was a model before becoming a real estate agent.
- When The Things are delaying Joan and Larry's way home by pulling over Joan's car disguised as police officers and demanding Joan's license registration, one of The Things can be heard saying "eeka peeka, you’re one hot mama" which Joan does not acknowledge at all as a she is distracted looking for her license registration. This alludes that Joan is an attractive mother and that just like the Cat in the Hat, one of The Things has an attraction to Joan.